Narcissists always operate in a way that is best for themselves, even when they pretend otherwise. Therefore, it is essential to grasp this basic yet fundamental concept when dealing with narcissists. This is because, in certain respects, “normies” also engage in projection. They give narcissists the feeling of empathy and sympathy, which is exactly what they want. These people can’t imagine someone who isn’t capable of expressing empathy.
As a result, the narcissist finds it quite simple to pick on these individuals. If you’re a victim of a narcissist, you probably don’t have time to think about how or why someone could be so disgusting, greedy, and manipulative without the slightest bit of care for others. It doesn’t really matter if narcissists are aware of how negatively they impact the lives of other people. One of their primary objectives is to delay their victim’s discovery of their deception for as long as possible. When the time comes that you finally discover the narcissist’s true characteristics and refuse to be controlled, things won’t be so good for you.
But you need to remain strong and determined because this is what they will do to regain control over you.
First, expect all kinds of dishonesty, blatant lies, and fact omission. Lies are false statements that are prepared and presented as if they were truthful and accurate. As we all know, narcissists are more than happy to say anything it takes. They dishonestly tell you the truth right in front of your face while concealing the truth to tell a lie. Primarily, the narcissist seeks to keep you hidden behind a veil of secrecy and deception so they can abuse your lack of knowledge of critical information that might influence your decision-making in their favor.
To keep everyone dancing to the same tune, they manipulate you and your sense of self by saying whatever it takes to keep everyone in their place.
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Secondly, they insist on dominance and control. For narcissists to take advantage of their chosen target, they must first gain complete control over them. They will frequently try to exert their authority over every aspect of your existence. This conduct can manifest in various ways, including managing the finances, making dinner plans, deciding how your children are raised, determining where you live, and deciding whether or not you can work.
Telling the narcissist to go away is the best thing you can do for yourself—unless you don’t mind having your every move regulated. Your only option, as I presume you do, is to sever the connection. It’s not always as simple as it appears, and with children involved, it’s much more challenging. If they are an elderly family member, a coworker, or an employer, there is, however, always a way out of every situation. The path to rehabilitation begins with self-healing and recovery work, as well as establishing a strong support network. This is a team effort, and I believe none of us can do it alone.
Next, number three is crazy-making conversations and fact-twisting. In this case, the narcissist claims to have said or done something only to later deny it. Don’t fool around with your own perceptions; you are being used as a pawn in an elaborate ruse to invalidate and denigrate you, making you doubt your own sanity and vision of reality, gradually driving you insane over time.
A narcissist’s tendency to engage in mind-bending conversations usually emerges fairly quickly. As long as they can get your attention, they will drain your critical life force energy and remain entertained. The narcissist gets all the benefits; they employ nonsensical talk to keep you spinning in circles, dancing like a puppet on strings, attempting to explain and defend your position while exerting a great deal of effort to be heard and understood by them.
What follows is a strategy I’d like to share with you:
Four: Gaslighting. Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse and manipulation in which the perpetrator lies, rejects, and invalidates what you think you know about the situation to back up their own skewed story. Narcissists twist facts, downplay relationship crimes, and leave out significant parts of the truth, convincing you that they’re not guilty while making you doubt your reality. The point of giving you false information is to make you question your memory and what you know to be true. Any harm they cause is made to look like they didn’t mean it or didn’t know what they were doing.
Narcissism is all about changing the past to make things better for themselves and reminding people that they are wonderful.
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Five: Emotional Blackmail. The narcissist uses emotional blackmail as another means of manipulation. Unfortunately, empaths who haven’t yet discovered their own personal power can be particularly vulnerable to its effects. This is because the narcissist knows that their intended victim wants their affection and endorsement. Most of us want to feel safe, secure, loved, accepted, and validated. Additionally, the narcissist will take advantage of your lack of self-confidence.
A potential fate could involve them suggesting they might propose to you someday if only you’re good enough, or giving you a raise, promotion, or award to show how much you’re valued. Withholding emotional support is just one of the ways they keep you searching for their acceptance. In the meantime, you wonder if there’s something wrong with you. Maybe they’d show you the affection you crave if you were good enough or better in some way or showed proper degrees of compassion, care, and concern.
As a result, no matter how hard you try or how well you perform, they will always find fault with you and continue to withhold any kind of support—emotional or otherwise. They might say, “If only you had done it this way,” or “If you had done it differently, I would have helped you or supported you more.” Of course, this is a lie. There’s no limit to the condescending ways they’ll try to make you feel unworthy, inferior, incompetent, and small.
Whichever method the narcissist uses, they must keep you low and dependent on them for your sense of identity. The irony is that they are using these tactics in the first place because they lack self-awareness and need to control you to receive their fix of narcissistic supply.
Six: Passive Aggression. Narcissists use emotional manipulation through behaviors like the silent treatment, rolling their eyes, talking about you as if you weren’t there, or glaring at you. In addition to ignoring or otherwise marginalizing you, they will claim they are merely trying to be helpful and provide a solution to the problem. The narcissist believes that their attacks and insults are nothing more than a sincere effort to assist. This has nothing to do with the situation; rather, you’re just too sensitive to it.
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Any other person they’ve persuaded of your inferiority will likely follow with more put-downs and disappointment. This narcissistic approach is meant to degrade, dominate, and belittle you while masking the narcissist’s apparent faults. When a narcissist refuses to communicate, for example, it is known as the silent treatment. They punish you with emotional and/or physical detachment to make you behave.
For what purpose? Even if they use this strategy as one of their preferred methods, they employ it to convey disrespect and signal that you are not worthy of their respect. It’s crucial to be reminded of your inferiority so that you don’t lose sight of how the narcissist sees you, as well as to intentionally cause you to feel rejected and abandoned. Emotional manipulators and their spineless accomplices are shown to be harsh; they simply lack empathy.
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