Whether for a few weeks, months, years, or decades, they would cling to you. If it was romantic, they’d make you fall in love with them or befriend you and keep it going. They got close to you and wanted to abuse, manipulate, and lie about who they were because they were hiding behind a mask. They knew that your health and resources would decline every day you stayed with them. They knew because they had done this repeatedly.
As mentioned, their resources eventually ran out. Perhaps you got sick, lost your job, went bankrupt, or had surgery. That’s when the narcissist usually dumps you and moves on to the other fuel source who has been waiting in the wings almost your whole life. After all of this, the narcissist didn’t think you would put yourself back together.
The narcissist didn’t expect you to heal, process narcissism, practice radical acceptance, and realize you are abundant, beautiful, and a bright shining light—not the narcissist. The narcissist tricked, trapped, and manipulated you into thinking you needed them. It’s the trauma bond— you’ve been lifted and lowered, pushed away and pulled back. It’s an emotional rollercoaster because you were always off balance. You could never stand. You didn’t know who you’d be talking to when you called, texted, or emailed the narcissist. You never had stability.
This wasn’t it. The narcissist intentionally threw you off balance to get you into the trauma bond. The trauma bond is something you weren’t prepared for, and leaving it is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do because you weren’t taught about narcissism in school. The trauma bond surprised you; you struggled to understand why everything was going wrong and found yourself a shell. You were being consumed by the narcissist.
So it went wrong day and night. You thought about them; your response time was too slow to their texts. You’d stop what you were doing and explain what you were doing, going to do, and will do. The narcissist would read your text and respond with “Okay,” or “K,” or “Great.” Sometimes they read the text without responding. Did that happen to you? Comment below. They devalued you because you just reported what you were doing and what you were supposed to do. You were the unpaid helper, the walking apology, and the endless to-do list. You were in that narcissistic fog or the trauma bond and reported back to the narcissist.
It was intentional that you didn’t know better. You were placed here. They devalued you more after placing you there. They became jaded and bored with you. You were captured, so the thrill of the chase and hunt was over. They had you as their Barbie or Ken doll on a shelf, and they were going to take you down and use you, play with you, or get resources from you. You’d be restored to the shelf. Because of this, the narcissist would disappear for hours, days, or weekends. In these relationships, what were they doing? They were either getting your replacement or using other suppliers.
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