Other sources of supply can be friends, a group they were in, traveling, a car, an opportunity, or anything else. Fair enough. Narcissistic supply is usually romantic or friendly. Instead of romance, it could be a family member or sibling, etc. However, the narcissist did not expect you to put yourself back together, dust yourself off, pick yourself up by the bootstraps, and figure out what narcissism was, how it affected you, and that you needed to save yourself first.
If you were discarded, my heart goes out to you. Even if the relationship ended on your terms, my heart goes out to you because you were with a toxic person for a long time. The narcissistic abusive cycle is something most people don’t experience, but you have.
You have that needle in the haystack, like all the pine needles behind me on the trees or ground. One pine needle in a haystack unlocked your future and freed you from the toxic narcissistic relationship. The narcissist never wanted to be understood. Your narcissist never wanted you to heal. They never wanted your breakthrough. They never wanted you to explore, discover, and realize that toxic narcissists are not who they say they are. They abuse people, hide behind masks, and keep them in a zombie-like trance. They don’t want to escape, but you escaped. You are healing, learning, growing, and possibly teaching. You are awakening, learning, and empowered. You know you come first, second, and third, not the narcissist.
The narcissist just deceived and trapped you. They didn’t want you to get that needle to unlock the lock, escape the narcissistic fog, heal, and go no contact. Block, delete, and remove all monkeys and people associated with them. Now grasp the message: your narcissist never wanted closure. Unable to provide closure, they can’t introspect, be accountable, or take blame. So they can’t give closure. They believe they do everything right and make no mistakes.
The narcissist makes mistakes every day, like everyone else. Narcissists can’t accept responsibility for their mistakes because their tiny brains won’t let them. Their tiny brains repeat the narcissistic abusive cycle. As I said, only they are constant in that cycle, and they know it. They want to trick and manipulate people into relationships. After getting what they want, they crumble and throw them on the motorway like paper. Because of this, narcissists have few long-term friends. This is why narcissists have few long-term relationships. When the children of the narcissist grow up, they often don’t want anything to do with them or their siblings because they realize they’ve been abused. They don’t like manipulation after hearing the victim card so often; it gets old.
However, they find the needle in a haystack and recover, saying, “That relationship nearly killed me.” Narcissists always fail and will fail in future relationships. They have failed at past relationships, and I can guarantee they are failing at current relationships wherever they are. Narcissists are insatiably hungry for people, things, shiny objects, and new supplies. They know they can never be satisfied, and you do too.
The narcissist never thought you would heal. The answer is that you weren’t expected to survive that relationship. They believed you would never be strong enough to repair yourself. They didn’t think you could tell who they were. They didn’t think you would survive alone after being discarded during a pandemic, multiple surgeries, a mountain of credit card debt, no car, and an inability to function due to isolation. The narcissist used the smear campaign, and your support network exploded without anyone checking on you. Nobody said, “Hey, how are you doing? Do you want to grab a coffee and discuss what happened?” This happened to me and many others.
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