This is why narcissists act so easily. They slither away at night or vanish quickly. Why? Because they took what they could. They refuse to sit down, drink coffee, reflect, and be accountable. They can’t because their weak brains prevent it. They’re childlike because of that, so they’re stuck in their own misery and wanted to keep you there too.
Consider what I’m saying. Say you were dumped. Why? What happened? If you were, the narcissist stole everything from you and switched to the new supply. That’s true. Additionally, what did they do? They left you before the narcissist may have tried to hoover you occasionally. Don’t accept a hoover. God bless you if you didn’t get hoovered. Great! That shows you’re strong, healing, and the narcissist has moved on.
Everything I’m sharing was when you were discarded. Consider your lowest point. You were near the bottom. Maybe you went through the dark night of the soul. Maybe you even considered doing things you never thought you would. But guess what? It’s funny that you found the needle in the haystack, learning, using tools, and contributing to the community. You live another day to pay it forward. You are discovering that the relationship nearly destroyed you. It didn’t; it flopped like narcissists always do.
However, note this: it never occurred to the narcissist that you would heal. They didn’t think you could heal because you weren’t strong enough. They thought you were weak, lost without belief, energy, strength, money, support, or anything after all the damage they did to you. They thought you’d never succeed. If you failed, read between the lines. What would they do? That would launch them into the next relationship, and they’d say you were too weak. You’re gone, so every smear campaign they used on you was true.
I hope you grasp that message. The narcissist doesn’t want you to heal—then, now, or in the future. They don’t want you to know how toxic they are. Once you figured them out, you have boundaries. You no longer please others; you can now say no, the strongest word in English. When you decline, you accept yourself. Rejecting narcissists is like repellent; they can’t cope. People dislike it; they can’t prevail. They’ll rage, etc. That’s your superpower—saying no, finding the needle in the haystack, and accepting that relationship was a lifelong lesson.
There was no choice. If you’ve endured toxic relationships, know that you’ve emerged stronger by defeating the cycle of narcissistic abuse. You’ve proven your resilience. Whether you’re thriving or still healing, know that you’re not alone. Remember, the narcissist never expected you to heal, but here you are. Let this be the beginning of your healing journey.
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