Narcissistic men seek spiritual women like moths seek a candle, but not out of love or a desire to transform. They seek her light to burn her alive. They are not drawn to her because they admire her; they are drawn to her because she threatens everything false about them. Her presence is not just beautiful; it is dangerous to their illusion. She is a walking disruption to the control they have managed to keep over everyone else because a spiritual woman cannot be faked, bought, or manipulated. She listens beyond words, she responds to energy, and the narcissist is drawn to that light with one mission: to extinguish it. Not because she is weak, but because she is powerful, and that is what they are afraid of.
Reason 1: Filling His Darkness with Her Light
That’s what he knows a spiritual woman does. She does not just see the surface; she feels what is buried under the silence and the charm. She notices the flicker of pain in his eyes, even when he’s pretending. She hears the tension in his voice when his words sound kind. Without being asked, she begins to pour her warmth, her empathy, and her intuitive love into the cracks in his foundation. For a moment, he feels alive again, but it is temporary because, deep down, he resents her for it. Her light makes him feel exposed, her presence calls him to accountability, and her energy invites transformation.
But that invitation feels like a threat to someone who refuses to change. Instead of rising to meet her, he begins to resent her for seeing what he has hidden. That is when he turns on her. The woman who once felt like salvation suddenly becomes his enemy, not because she changed, but because she saw him too clearly.
Reason 2: Believing in His Unmanifested Potential
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Spiritual women do not fall for faces; they fall for frequencies. She does not see him as who he is in this moment, but who he could be. She sees the boy who was never loved properly, the divine spark beneath the ego, and the possibility of him being an artist, a healer, or a visionary who is hiding behind a false self. She falls in love with that idea. She gives herself to him with the belief that if he is just loved purely enough, he will awaken. She devotes herself to that transformation, to that hope. She believes in his future self more than he does.
But what she does not understand at first is that he will never become that version of himself, not because he cannot, but because he doesn’t want to. He doesn’t care. He wants her to see it, he wants her to believe in the possibility, but he has no intention of rising to meet it. The attention she gives to his potential feeds his ego, not his evolution. He grows addicted to being admired for what he never has to become. She touches his soul, and instead of being humbled, he uses that intimacy to fuel his performance.
Reason 3: Forgiving More Than She Should
Because she believes in divine goodness. To her, forgiveness is not a tactic; it is her nature. She sees the human in everyone. She believes that even the most broken hearts are deserving of grace. She knows that narcissists are made, not born. She knows trauma; she has walked through it and healed from it to a certain degree. She knows what it is like to be unloved, so she refuses to withhold love from others, even when it hurts, even when it drains her.
She believes that if she just keeps showing up with love, eventually the pain will stop, and the real man will emerge. He sees her forgiveness as an opening, as something to exploit. He mistakes her holiness for helplessness. While she is offering love, he is testing how far she will bend before she breaks. Her refusal to give up on him becomes the very reason he keeps crossing lines because, to him, forgiveness is not sacred; it is a strategy to keep her hooked.
Reason 4: Weaponizing Her Spiritual Discernment
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She is not naive. In fact, she is the one person in his life who can see through his persona. Her discernment is ancient; it lives in her bones. She can feel what is off before it even happens. She picks up on the dissonance between words and energy. She knows when something does not align, even if she can’t explain why, and that terrifies him because she is the only one who cannot be fully fooled.
Instead of running, he tries to control it. He subtly begins to gaslight her, makes her question her instincts, and tells her she is imagining things. He laughs when she expresses what she is picking up on. Over time, she begins to doubt herself, and once that doubt enters, he starts to rewrite reality. He starts to use her discernment language against her, saying things like, “You are just projecting,” or “You are too sensitive,” or “You are making up stories in your head.” Slowly, he takes her deepest gift, her intuition, and turns it into a source of fear. If he can disconnect her from her inner voice, she becomes easier to control.
Reason 5: Exploiting Her Spiritual Values
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She lives by spiritual values, and he counts on them to escape consequences. There is something unshakable about a woman who walks in alignment with her values. Her kindness is not a performance. Her compassion does not run dry when things get difficult. She does not love out of need; she loves from overflow. Even when she’s hurt, she tries to act with grace. She does not lash out, she does not seek revenge, and she holds back when most would explode.
He sees this as his chance. He knows she won’t expose him easily, he knows she won’t punish him, and he knows that if he cries hard enough, tells a sad enough story, or disappears long enough to stir her empathy, she will let him off the hook. He uses her goodness as a hiding place because she will always try to take the higher road and heal instead of harm. In her desire to be spiritually responsible, she will often give him a pass he does not deserve. He takes the very traits that make her divine and twists them into tools that protect him from judgment. In doing so, he turns her light into his shield.
The secret is that it was an attempt to sever you from your source. That’s why it happened—to make you forget who you are, to drown your intuition in doubt, to suffocate your discernment, and to shame your empathy. To make you feel that your softness was stupidity instead of strength.
But the truth is, he came because your light disturbed something in him that he has been hiding from his entire life. You did not lose because if you’re still standing, still healing, still feeling, and still listening, then your light was not destroyed. It was impacted, it was tempered, and it is wiser now, more precise, and sharper. The next time something comes to knock on your door, it won’t be able to get past the frequency of who you have become. Now is the time for you to fully embody that and to become your authentic self that you have been since your origin.
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