Narcissistic men treat love like a performance but service like a threat. They will shout from the rooftops how much they love their girl, but the second she is tired, overwhelmed, or simply needs help with something as small as finding her lipstick shade or as intimate as needing emotional presence, they look at her like she just asked them to donate a kidney. And what do they say? “Bro, I’m not doing all that. That’s so G.a.y.”
“G.a.y” is the word they hide behind, not just to dodge responsibility but to preserve the illusion that being a real man means being emotionally distant, selfishly unavailable, and utterly useless in a relationship. You have to understand the root of the problem: contempt for femininity. This is very clear. Narcissists do not just have a problem with helping women; they have a deeply rooted contempt for femininity itself. They associate caregiving, nurturing, and any kind of emotional labor with weakness. And weakness, to them, is what is shameful.
So they would rather let their woman bleed out—emotionally, spiritually, physically—than be seen handing her a band-aid. Because God forbid someone thinks they care. God forbid someone thinks they’re soft. God forbid someone thinks they are a man with a heart. It is contempt; it is their belief system. It is a twisted, toxic value system in them that says, “You are the woman. You serve me. You revolve around me. I’m not here to carry your bags; I am here to throw them at you.” Typical caveman behavior.
This episode is for every woman who was made to feel like a burden just for asking her partner to act like a decent human being. For every woman who was guilt-tripped, mocked, or outright insulted for expecting her partner to help—not as a favor but as a function of being in a relationship. For every woman who watched her man go out of his way for strangers, his boss, his boys, but somehow always forgot to do the smallest things for her.
Because this is not just about housework, lipstick, or remembering your birthday. This is about how a narcissist weaponizes masculinity to devalue the woman he claims to love until she starts questioning her worth entirely, and I am going to expose all of it.
The topic for today is what happens when a narcissist thinks helping a woman is G.a.y. This behavior—the belief that helping your own woman somehow makes you weak or G.a.y—does not just come out of thin air. It’s not an accidental trait; it’s a result of programming.
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