4. I see you as an extension of myself and I value you based on how you reflect on me.
A narcissist views you as an extension of themselves. You are nothing but an object to them, meant to perform a specific function. This is entitlement in action; they think they own you. For example, a narcissistic parent may see their child as a reflection of their own unrealized dreams. If the child fails to meet their standards, devaluation begins, and the child becomes a scapegoat. In romantic relationships, your function may be to be a trophy partner, bringing them admiration while they take all the credit.
5. I am deeply insecure and filled with shame, but I will never admit to it.
Narcissists are filled with shame and extreme insecurities, which is why they have such fragile egos. If you say something they perceive as a slight, they can react with rage, even if you aren’t attacking them. They believe everyone is trying to bring them down. If they were honest, they would admit that their insecurities are their own and have nothing to do with you. However, they project their feelings onto you, believing that your imperfections reflect their own inadequacies.
In conclusion, a narcissist can say a lot, and all of it proves one thing: you were not the crazy one. You didn’t cause the problems they blamed you for; you were perfect as you are. They are the actual problem, and they need to work on themselves. It’s not you; it’s them.
Sharing is caring!
