What if I told you that your empathetic and people-pleasing attitude does not attract good people, but bad ones? It sounds unfair, right? That is not fair.
You try to be kind, understanding, and helpful, yet somehow you keep crossing paths with the most manipulative, self-centered people. It’s not a coincidence; there’s a reason narcissists are drawn to empaths and people pleasers like moths to a flame. But once you understand their game, you can stop being their favorite victim and start protecting yourself.
Today, we’ll break down the real reasons narcissists target empaths and people pleasers. Are you ready for number one?
1. Empaths and people pleasers crave harmony. What happens when a wolf finds a lamb that refuses to bite back? That’s the dynamic between narcissists and their prey. If you are an empath or a people pleaser, you crave harmony not because you’re weak, but because you value connection and emotional peace. Narcissists see this as an open invitation to test your limits. They know you’ll second-guess yourself before calling them out, and they’ll use your kindness as both a shield and a weapon. Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a psychologist specializing in narcissistic abuse, explains, “Narcissists seek out people who will go the extra mile to keep them happy, even at their own expense. You’d rather absorb the discomfort than cause a scene, and they exploit that to the fullest.” That’s why they love empaths and people pleasers.
But here’s the hard truth: the more you try to maintain peace, the more they thrive in the chaos they create. A narcissist doesn’t care about balance; they care about control. The moment you start setting boundaries, they’ll test them, push back, or guilt-trip you into thinking you’re the problem. That’s why the cycle never ends until you decide that keeping the peace isn’t worth losing yourself. Harmony is a beautiful thing, but not when it comes at the cost of your sanity.
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