8. Narcissists can easily gaslight empaths and people pleasers. Narcissists can mess with your mind so much that you’d apologize for things you didn’t even do. That’s exactly what they do when they gaslight you. And if you’re an empath or a people pleaser, you’re even more vulnerable because you already second-guess yourself. Narcissists twist reality so smoothly that you start wondering, “Did I overreact? Maybe it is my fault.” Dr. Robin Stern, author of The Gaslight Effect, explains, “Gaslighting works because it makes you question your perceptions, leaving you dependent on the manipulator for a sense of reality.” And that’s the goal: they want you confused, doubting yourself, and looking to them for the truth. The more uncertain you are, the easier you are to control. The worst part is you don’t even realize it’s happening until you’re deep in the fog. One day you’re confident in what you saw, heard, and felt; the next day, you’re apologizing for even bringing it up. Narcissists will say things like, “You’re too sensitive,” or “You always twist my words,” until you start believing it. Psychologist Dr. Ramani Durvasula puts it bluntly: “Gaslighting isn’t about disagreement; it’s about control.” The only way to break free is to trust yourself again. If something feels off, it is off. You don’t need their permission to believe your reality.
9. Empaths and people pleasers are natural givers. What happens when a giver meets a taker who never knows when to stop? As an empath or a people pleaser, you feel good when you help others. You love to give, whether it’s your time, energy, or emotional support. But narcissists only love to take. They take everything: your kindness, your patience, your energy, until you’re completely drained. Dr. Ross Rosenberg, author of The Human Magnet Syndrome, explains, “Empaths and narcissists are drawn to each other like opposite poles of a magnet. One gives endlessly while the other consumes without remorse.” That’s why narcissists target people like you; they know you’ll overextend yourself and keep giving no matter how little they offer in return. The problem is, with a narcissist, there’s no such thing as enough. You could give them all the love, attention, and care in the world, and they’d still act like it’s not enough. They’re not interested in mutual care; they see relationships as a one-way supply chain, with you as the endless provider. As psychotherapist Beverly Engel puts it in The Emotionally Abusive Relationship, “Narcissists don’t appreciate generosity; they exploit it.” The more you give, the more they take, and before you know it, you’re running on empty while they walk away feeling full. At some point, you have to ask yourself, “Am I in a relationship or am I just a never-ending resource?
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