10. Empaths and people pleasers fear rejection and abandonment. What’s more terrifying: a toxic relationship or the thought of being alone? If you’re an empath or a people pleaser, the answer might not be as obvious as it should be. You crave connection, and deep down, you fear rejection or abandonment. Narcissists see this as their golden ticket to control. They’ll give you just enough affection to keep you hooked, then pull away the moment you step out of line. Dr. Craig Malkin explains, “Narcissists use abandonment as a weapon, making their victims feel like they have to earn love or risk losing it.” And that’s the trap: you start walking on eggshells, doing everything you can to keep them happy, even if it means losing yourself in the process. The worst part is that the more you fear being abandoned, the more power they have over you. They use silent treatments, sudden coldness, or even vague threats like, “Maybe we’re just not right for each other,” to keep you anxious and desperate to prove your worth. But here’s the truth: real love doesn’t make you feel like you’re constantly one mistake away from being discarded. Narcissists want you so afraid of losing them that you forget you deserve better. But ask yourself, “What’s worse: being alone for a while or staying in a relationship where love feels like a test you’ll never pass?”
At the end of the day, narcissists target empaths and people pleasers because they care and give too much. It makes them the perfect prey for someone who thrives on control. But here’s the thing: once you recognize the game, you don’t have to play. The real power lies in setting boundaries, trusting your instincts, and realizing that your kindness isn’t the problem. The wrong people taking advantage of it are. The moment you stop over-explaining, stop chasing approval, and start valuing yourself as much as you value others, the narcissist loses their grip. And that’s when you finally take your power back.
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