The end goal of a narcissist is to break you. That is their game; they want to make you confused and unsure of yourself. They want to be the one who controls how you feel about yourself. They want to ensure that you never feel free, happy, or strong without them. It does not matter if they were nice in the beginning; it does not matter if they told you they loved you deeply. Behind it all, they were studying your weaknesses and waiting for the day they could crush your spirit. That is what makes them feel powerful; that is what keeps them going.
I know you understand this, but when you leave, something strange happens—something they never expected. You wake up; you realize what they have been doing. You stop reacting, stop begging, and stop believing their fake promises. You stop giving them the energy they need to survive. You become indestructible. When that happens, the narcissist begins to fall apart in ways they do not even understand.
The Narcissist’s Identity Crisis
The first thing that happens is that they look in the mirror and do not know who they are. Narcissists build their identity through other people, which means they do not really have any sense of self. They do not know who they are on their own. They get their confidence from being praised and feel important when someone is afraid of losing them. They feel powerful when they see someone crying because of them, which makes them sadistic.
But once you stop reacting, once you stop caring, something changes. They look at themselves and suddenly feel hollow, empty, and lost. They no longer see the powerful, amazing person they used to believe they were. That invincibility evaporates because that image was only real when you believed in it, when you fed it, when you mirrored it back to them. Now they see nothing in the mirror; they see a face, a shell. They try to force the old feelings to come back. They post online pretending to be happy, bragging about their new life with new supply, smiling harder, laughing louder—but none of it feels real anymore because the one person who made it real, you, has stopped playing the game.
The Obsessive Thoughts and Emotional Spiral
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