Narcissists think about you every single day after you leave, but not because they miss you—they miss owning you. People always ask me if narcissists actually miss you when you’re gone, like really miss you, and the answer is much more complicated than a simple yes or no. Here’s the thing: they absolutely feel your absence, but not in the way you think they do, and definitely not in the way you felt when they discarded you.
Understanding Narcissistic Absence
Let me be brutally honest about what is really happening in their heads when you go no contact or when you finally walk away. First off, they’re not sitting there crying into their pillow, thinking about all the beautiful moments you shared. That’s not how their brain works. Instead, they’re experiencing something that feels like a malfunction in their entire system. You see, you were their emotional regulation device. You were the one who made them feel important, validated, and powerful. You were feeding them something they literally cannot produce internally. So when you disappear, it’s like someone unplugged their life support machine.
They do not miss you as a person with feelings and dreams and your own inner world; they miss what you did for them.
The Narcissist’s Reaction to No Contact
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