The Trap of Good Intentions
At first, I genuinely thought I could help.
They weren’t like the others, I told myself. They were just hurt. Misunderstood. They had walls up, sure — but I believed if I could love them patiently, consistently, and unconditionally, they’d let me in. They’d soften. They’d heal.
What I didn’t understand back then — and what I wish someone had told me — is that narcissists don’t want healing. They want control.
And if you offer them empathy, they won’t meet you halfway. They’ll weaponize it.
I learned that the hard way.
The Beginning Always Feels Magical — That’s the Point
If you’ve ever been with a narcissist, you know how intoxicating the beginning can be. They mirror your values, echo your dreams, and pour affection on you like you’ve finally found “the one.”
It feels like a love story — the kind you write songs about.
But in reality, it’s a tactic called love bombing. The compliments, the intense eye contact, the deep conversations… they’re not signs of emotional intimacy. They’re bait.
You start to bond deeply, while they remain detached. You get addicted to the attention. And once you’re emotionally invested, the mask starts to slip — and the manipulation begins.
Why We Try to Fix Them
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