If I could speak to the version of me who believed she could fix a narcissist, I’d say this:
“It’s not your job to heal someone who keeps cutting you open.
You’re allowed to love someone and still walk away.
You’re allowed to put yourself first — that’s not selfish, it’s survival.
You are not weak for caring. But you will grow stronger by letting go.”
The version of you that thinks “maybe this time it will be different” is just the part of you that wants to believe the pain meant something.
It did mean something. It taught you how to choose better next time.
Conclusion: The Healing Begins When the Fixing Stops
Trying to fix a narcissist will drain your spirit, distort your reality, and delay your healing. And worst of all — it won’t work.
Because the person you’re trying to reach isn’t really there. You’re trying to fix a version of them that only existed during the love-bombing phase. That version was never real — it was just bait.
The real version is the one who made you cry for answers, feel guilty for needing affection, and question whether you were “too much.”
If you’re reading this and realizing you’re still trying to fix them — pause.
Ask yourself: What would happen if I turned that energy inward?
What if you started healing yourself instead?
That’s the moment everything starts to change.
Because the truth is:
You were never the problem. You were just the one who cared too deeply — for someone who couldn’t care at all.
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