According to Dr. Ramani Durvasula, narcissists use others’ pain as a way to maintain control and feel superior. Their body language often gives them away: think exaggerated sighs, fake tears, and clutching their chest as if they’re in the middle of an Oscar-worthy performance. It’s a tactic to keep the spotlight on them, manipulating your empathy while subtly undermining your progress. Instead of offering support, they make you feel like you’re the one who should be consoling them. As soon as you show vulnerability, they seize the opportunity to turn the tables, and before you know it, you’re comforting them, wondering how you got caught up in their emotional games.
Are you still up for number six? To love-bomb you. Narcissists use love-bombing to reel you in fast, and fake empathy is a big part of that act. They want to hook you before you have time to think, pulling out all the stops in the early stages of the relationship. It’s not real affection, though; it’s manipulation.
As Dr. Sherry Stein, a clinical psychologist who specializes in narcissistic abuse, points out, “Love-bombing is a way for narcissists to create dependency. They overload you with praise, attention, and affection, leaving you dizzy with confusion.” If you pay attention to their body language, you’ll notice everything is over the top: constant, intense eye contact, dramatic head tilts, and overly touchy gestures. It’s all about creating the illusion of love and connection just to secure their place in your life.
But as time goes on, their true intentions will start to show through. The affection they shower you with slowly turns into control, and the empathy they express quickly fades away. So if everything feels a little too perfect, take a step back and watch for the cracks in the facade.
Let’s keep it moving to number seven: to disarm you during a confrontation. When narcissists are caught in a lie or called out for their bad behavior, their go-to tactic is fake concern. They’ll soften their tone and say, “I’m so sorry you feel that way,” to make you lower your defenses, but it’s all just a cover-up.
According to Dr. Craig Malkin, a clinical psychologist and author of Rethinking Narcissism, this is a manipulative move to shift the focus off their wrongdoing and make you feel guilty instead. If you pay attention to their body language, though, the truth leaks out. While their words are sweet, their body is tense: clenched fists, tight lips, or narrowed eyes. It’s a classic case of using charm as a shield while preparing for their next emotional move.
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