This may sound crazy, but you were not randomly selected by a narcissist to be their victim. You were specifically placed in their path by the universe, by God, as their karmic consequence. Understanding this truth can be liberating. You were not weak, naive, or unlucky. You were the universe’s response to their actions, choices, and energy. You were their karma walking into their life in human form.
Now, you may argue, “Well, was I a sacrificial lamb? It was really unjust and painful. Why did it happen to me?” And that’s why I’m creating this “Understanding Your Role as Karma” episode. I want to help you understand what took me such a long time to comprehend—the purpose behind it all. You were that narcissist’s karma, but that narcissist was also a catalyst in your process of spiritual awakening. This is a profound truth that needs a deeper understanding of your experience with them.
Reason 1: Exposing Their False Self
Reason number one: you were sent to expose their false self while their presence awakened your authentic one. You know how narcissists spend enormous energy maintaining a carefully constructed false image. They manipulate situations, control narratives, and exploit others to preserve their facade. But what about you? You were sent into their life as the person who would see through it all. Your authentic nature, your ability to love genuinely, and your emotional intelligence created a stark contrast to their performance. Without even trying, you exposed the hollowness beneath their mask. Your mere presence made their false self unstable because real recognizes real, and fake cannot coexist with authentic for long.
While you were serving as their karmic mirror, they were simultaneously serving as your catalyst for authentic self-discovery. Their attempts to dim your light through devaluation and criticism forced you to find your own inner validation. Every time they tried to convince you that you were too much, too sensitive, or too demanding, you were being pushed toward recognizing your true worth. The narcissist’s inability to appreciate your authentic self became the very thing that taught you to value it yourself. Their rejection of your emotional needs forced you to become your own emotional caretaker. Their failure to see your value compelled you to discover it independently. While you were their karma, exposing their false self, they were your catalyst revealing your authentic self. It was a spiritual evolution.
But don’t get me wrong: you don’t have to put that narcissist on a pedestal and worship their ego. They are not a great person or a saint in disguise. That’s not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is that this is the reason why you experienced what you experienced and what the hidden purpose behind it all was. Something had to happen in your life to shake you awake and help you realize that you are worthy. When you go through such a horrible experience with a narcissist, you ultimately realize that no, you don’t deserve that kind of treatment. You don’t have to tolerate abuse. You need to love yourself. You need to find yourself, and you need to go through the process of homecoming. That is what they unintentionally initiated by being in a relationship with such a toxic individual.
Reason 2: Emotional Vampires and Energetic Independence
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Reason number two: you were the consequence of their emotional vampirism while their presence taught you energetic independence. Narcissists are emotional vampires who drain others to fuel their empty core. They move through relationships, leaving destruction in their wake, taking what they need and discarding what remains. But the universe, or God, has a way of balancing these scales. You were that balance. You entered their life as the person who would drain them back—not through manipulation or cruelty, but through your very nature.
How? Your need for genuine connection, emotional intimacy, and authentic love created demands they could not meet. Your standards for how you deserved to be treated became their karmic burden. While they expected to drain you completely, you unknowingly drained them of something far more valuable: their ability to maintain their illusions. Your consistent authenticity forced them to work harder to sustain their false self. Your emotional needs became the karmic debt payments they could never fully make.
During this process, they were inadvertently teaching you about energetic sovereignty. Their constant attempts to drain your energy forced you to develop spiritual boundaries you never knew you needed. Their emotional vampirism taught you to recognize when someone was taking more than they were giving. Their inability to reciprocate your emotional investments showed you the importance of energetic balance in relationships. The pain you experienced from that draining behavior was not meaningless; it was some sort of training. You learned to protect your energy, recognize energetic vampires immediately, and never again give more than you receive. While you were their karma, forcing them to confront their emotional emptiness, they were showing you—without wanting to—how to become energetically self-sufficient.
Reason 3: Triggering Insecurities and Revealing Strengths
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Reason number three: you were sent to trigger their deepest insecurities while they revealed your hidden strengths. Beneath a narcissist’s grandiose exterior lies a core of shame, inadequacy, and self-loathing so profound that they have built their entire personality to avoid confronting it. Your genuine self-worth, even if you did not fully recognize it at the time, threatened their constructed superiority. Your natural talents, capacity for growth, and ability to form real connections—all of these qualities triggered their deepest fears about their own inadequacy. You were living proof that they were not special, superior, or irreplaceable. Your very existence reminded them of everything they were not and could never become.
This constant triggering was their karma for all the insecurities they had projected onto others throughout their lives. But while you were triggering their insecurities, they were simultaneously revealing strengths within you that you never knew existed. Their attempts to break you down showed you just how resilient you truly were. Their efforts to control you revealed an inner strength that refused to be dominated. Their criticism and devaluation forced you to develop an unshakable sense of self that no external force could destroy. Every time they tried to diminish you, they were actually building your spiritual muscle. Every attack on your character forced you to define who you really were. Every attempt to make you question your sanity taught you to trust your inner knowing.
Reason 4: Isolating Them and Learning Discernment
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Reason number four: you were the universe’s way of isolating them while their presence taught you discernment. Narcissists rely on their ability to maintain multiple sources of supply—friends, family, colleagues, and romantic partners who feed their need for validation and control. You know that. But you were sent into their life as the person who would ultimately cost them these connections. Your presence began to expose their true nature to others. People who had previously been fooled by their charm started to see the manipulation, lies, and emotional abuse through your experience.
I know you may say, “Well, they have a ton of flying monkeys enabling them.” I understand. To a certain degree, the authentic ones—the ones who were getting fooled and abused—woke up because of your presence. You became the catalyst that revealed their pattern of behavior to their entire social circle. Those who wanted to wake up did wake up. The narcissist’s treatment of you became so obviously destructive that it forced others to choose sight. Many people who had previously enabled or overlooked their behavior could no longer maintain their denial when confronted with the reality of how they treated you. You were the straw that broke the camel’s back of their social facade. It was karmic justice.
For many years, they had isolated others from their support system, primarily turning people against each other and manipulating social dynamics for their benefit. You were sent to turn this pattern back on them, becoming the reason they lost the very support systems they had weaponized against others. While you were serving as their karma, isolating them from their fake support network, their manipulative behavior forced you to develop the ability to see through facades and recognize authentic people. Their lies taught you to trust your intuition when something feels off. Their betrayals showed you the difference between genuine loyalty and performative support. Through their treatment of you, you learned to identify red flags immediately. You developed an internal warning system, which I call “Narcraar,” that alerts you to manipulation, love bombing, and false promises. You gained the ability to see people’s true intentions beneath their words. While you were their karma, exposing their manipulative nature, their presence was showing you how to never be manipulated again.
I want to repeat myself: I’m not giving any credit to the narcissist. I am not disregarding the pain you have experienced and the potential lifetime of psychological trauma that you will take a long time to recover from. What I’m saying is that these are deeper spiritual lessons. This should give you some sort of closure that the narcissist will never be able to achieve on their own.
Reason 5: Spiritual Reckoning and Awakening
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The last reason: you were their spiritual reckoning while they initiated your spiritual awakening. The most profound reason you were the narcissist’s karma is that you represented their spiritual reckoning—the moment when all their choices, actions, and energy came back to them in the form of an experience they could not control, manipulate, or escape. You carried within you the accumulated pain of everyone they had ever hurt—not consciously, obviously, but energetically. Your sensitivity to their manipulation was actually your spiritual ability to feel the collective wounds they had inflicted on others. When they hurt you, they were experiencing through you every moment of pain they had ever caused.
Your emotional reactions to their behavior were not weakness; they were God’s way, the universe’s way, of making them feel the full weight of their actions. Every tear you shed was a tear they had caused someone else to cry. Every moment of confusion you experienced was confusion they had deliberately created in other people’s minds. You were their karmic mirror, reflecting back the full emotional cost of their choices. The intensity of your pain was proportional to the intensity of pain they had caused throughout their lifetime. You were not just experiencing your own hurt; you were channeling the collective hurt of all their victims. This is why the pain felt so overwhelming and disproportionate. You were carrying more than your own burden; you were carrying theirs.
While you were serving as their spiritual reckoning, they were simultaneously triggering your spiritual awakening. Their behavior was so destructive, so contrary to love, that it forced you to question everything you thought you knew about relationships, human nature, and reality itself. If you agree, let me know in the comments. Their manipulation pushed you to develop spiritual discernment. Their lies forced you to find your own truth. The narcissist’s treatment of you shattered your old beliefs about love, trust, and human goodness. But this shattering was necessary for your spiritual evolution. Through the pain of their betrayal, you learned to trust your intuition. Through the emotional abuse, you discovered an inner strength you never knew existed. Through their attempts to dim your light, you found your own inner sun. Unwillingly and unknowingly, they served as your dark knight of the soul—the catalyst that forced you to go deeper into your spiritual nature. While you were their karma, forcing them to confront their spiritual bankruptcy, they were your initiation into your own spiritual power.
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I’m not giving them any credit at all. Please understand what I’m sharing with you in the proper context. If you are thriving, if you’re rebuilding yourself and your life, you will be able to relate to what I’m sharing. None of these truths have anything to do with the human nature of the narcissist; it’s something they could not control. These things happened because they were supposed to happen. You were meant to grow in that relationship while experiencing so much pain.
I’m sharing these insights because I’ve been realizing a lot of this lately, and in no way do I want to thank that narcissist or reach out. I know many of you are still struggling with co-parenting and may not have found full freedom from them. Perhaps they are actively acting against you, which makes it difficult to embody what I’m sharing. But sooner or later, as you grow in your spiritual journey—if you are a spiritual person—you will come to the realization that this had to happen.
I’ll give you a practical example: had I not experienced what I did, how would I have been able to talk about these topics so deeply and show up every single day to help others? That is my purpose for you. I invite you to find yours. Even if you’re angry, sad, or feel that there is no purpose to your pain, it’s okay for now. Consider what I’ve shared with you. Think about it and let it grow inside.
With that, let’s bring this episode to an end. Thank you so much for watching and listening. I will talk to you in the next one. Until then, as always, let the healing begin.
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