True covert narcissists are easy to pick out because their main manipulative tactics are their use of passive-aggression and doling out silent treatments.
When you’re in the lovebombing phase they will be the ones who study your habits and behaviors (especially if they’re a cerebral-covert narcissist) moreso than other subtypes (such as the overt and malignant narcissists). While the overt narcissist usually woos you with sexual attention and showing you grand gestures, the covert narcissist studies what you respond to most. Ie. If you come off as clingy, which drove other man away, the covert narcissist will bombard you with attention and act as though they love your attention in return. If they notice you really like chai lattes from a specific coffee shop, they will memorize your order and bring that coffee to you every morning on their way to work. Etc. They will do the more subtle things that make you feel uniquely special which goes beyond just bringing you flowers. They do this to capture your full attention and to preoccupy your mind so that all you will think about is how you finally found the one, a man or woman who gets you. They want you to get used to all of those wonderful things because a.) In the lovebombing stage they believe you’re flawless and that you are “the one” for a short time there, so they mirror you to get you to fall for them fast and hard. And b.) Is because once they have you hooked on the fanstasy of them being mister/misses perfect, they know they have control over you.
Which brings us to the devaluation stage. Once they see that you are in fact human and fallible the covert narcissist will be much more subtle in their ways of devaluing you (in the beginning of this stage) than the other subtypes. Because a covert narcissist has you completely hooked on them and they have you completely figured out, they can start mentally abusing you and trauma-bonding you to them once they feel slighted by you. They do so just enough to keep you strung along.
The most dangerous thing about narcissistic relationship
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