By the end of this article, you’re going to know exactly how to use the gray rock method with a narcissist so you can stop giving your power away and start enjoying more peace, confidence, and freedom. Let’s do it!
So let’s talk about how to use the gray rock method with a narcissist. Before we dive into the gray rock method specifically, there are a few key things that will be helpful to understand up front when it comes to dealing with people who land on the spectrum of destructive narcissism.
To begin with, people who land on the spectrum of destructive narcissism are not only highly manipulative and deeply unconscious, but the key thing to know is that they are empathy impaired, if not lacking in conscience entirely. In other words, their way of showing up in the relationship is going to be unhealthy, toxic, destructive, and sometimes even dangerous.
So the point I’m making is this: when we are enmeshed with someone with a destructive narcissist personality pattern in any area of our lives, they are not approaching the relationship with the same genuine, sincere intent that you or I would. Rather, they are looking at you as a commodity. We are a source of narcissistic supply for these individuals—emotional and energetic supply in addition to any other resource they can manage to siphon from you.
That’s right—people who land on the spectrum of destructive narcissism quite literally suck the vital life force energy from your very being while exploiting you in any other way they can manage to get away with. So know upfront that it’s all about what they can get from you, including emotional energy, again siphoning the very life force from your being. And one of their very favorite ways of doing this is by being provocative in their attitudes and behavior toward you.
They poke, provoke, prod, and poke some more in the hopes of getting a rise out of you—a reaction. Those of us who are a match to people with a destructive narcissist personality pattern, in particular those who would qualify as being high-spectrum destructive narcissists, tend to be highly empathic and codependent. We’re also carrying a certain amount of unresolved wounding and trauma, which is the match, so to speak, that keeps us in the game with these folks.
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