We’ve all found ourselves in conversations where we feel attacked. What begins as a simple discussion can quickly devolve into a misrepresentation of our words, leaving us frustrated, disrespected, and sometimes even acting contrary to our true selves. The recent interview between Cathy Newman and Jordan Peterson provides an intriguing case study on how to effectively handle subtle conversational tricks used to undermine confidence and assert dominance.
Recognizing the Signs of a Conversational Bully
To stop a conversational bully in their tracks, it’s crucial to recognize their tactics before it escalates beyond your control. Typically, an aggressive attitude is revealed through tone and word choice early on in the conversation. For instance, in the interview, when Newman implies that Peterson has done something wrong by asking him to “admit” something, it signals her confrontational stance. This sets the stage for her subsequent questions, which often carry an accusatory tone. If someone asks, “What do you have to say for yourself?” be prepared; this individual likely believes you’ve erred and is setting a trap, not just seeking clarification.
Common Tactics: The “So-You’re-Saying” Trap
One particularly common tactic is what I like to call the “so-you’re-saying” trap. For instance, Newman asks, “So you’re saying women have some sort of duty to help fix the crisis of masculinity?” This statement oversimplifies Peterson’s nuanced position and attempts to frame his argument in a way that can be easily attacked. A straightforward way to counter this tactic is to assertively clarify: “What I was saying is…” and then restate your original point. This method not only reinforces your message but also directs the conversation back on track, diminishing the effectiveness of the trap.
The Hidden Presupposition Technique
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