So, what happens when a narcissist sees you as being too strong? When they perceive that you carry a little more personal power than they’d prefer? Well, a few things really depend on the type of narcissist you’re dealing with. For example, a fragile, vulnerable, more covert narcissist will initially be attracted to your strength, confidence, courage, and personal power. But inevitably, they’ll be triggered and will feel threatened by it. The moment your strong nature begins to shine a light on their own inadequacies, shortcomings, lack of personal integrity, or moral compass, your personal power, strength, and resolve will become a problem, and in their mind, you’ll become their adversary. Suddenly, you’ll be the villain, and they, of course, will see themselves as the victim. This is always par for the course when dealing with a covert narcissist; they are forever and always the victim in every situation, even in circumstances they themselves have not only created but also perpetuated.
What many people don’t realize is that narcissists don’t tend to go after riff-raff. If you’re being targeted by a destructive narcissist in any way, it’s likely because you bring a lot of good qualities to the table; you carry a lot of light. You’re not only highly empathic but also deeply loving, kind, decent, and good—not perfect, but good. And you have a lot going for you. Essentially, you’re the exact opposite of what the narcissist is.
Furthermore, you’re probably really smart and at least relatively accomplished. You make them look good because you look good. You enhance their image by osmosis, and they like that at first. So, your strength and personal power, and all the qualities that make you dynamite, are very attractive to the narcissist in the beginning, for no other reason than that they’re always operating from a “what’s in it for me” perspective.
The problem, however, is that narcissists need to exert authority over others. They also need to create and maintain a perception of superiority, no matter how false that perception may actually be in reality. So, sooner or later, your strength and personal power are going to become very problematic for a destructive narcissist. Depending on the circumstances, this may become evident very quickly—in some cases, immediately. Other times, it will take longer for it to manifest as an actual issue that’s problematic to the relationship dynamic. When it does, you’ll know it because the shift will be real.
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