If you are with a narcissist or have been with one, you may have noticed that they repeat the same behaviors over and over, following a routine—a set of mechanical, robotic habits that seem soulless. But why is this the case? How do these habits and routines serve them? Let’s explore this in today’s episode.
The narcissist’s behavior is controlled by a set of habits they’ve developed through repetition and observational learning. They are creatures of habit who find change extremely unpleasant and unsettling because it means a potential loss of control and supply. So, they stick to routines and patterns to convert an unpredictable world into something they can manage and control.
Reflecting on my own experience, I recall how my father was obsessed with kitchen gardening. Every day, he would follow the same routine, working in the garden like it was an extension of himself. At first, I thought it was a hobby, but now I see it as his way of maintaining control—over what was grown, when and how vegetables were consumed, and even who they were given to.
Interestingly, narcissists may change their home, partner, or occupation, but even within these changes, there is a predictable pattern. This makes their personality both chaotic and rigid at the same time. They repeat the same behaviors robotically, with similar outcomes. Narcissists find comfort in familiarity and predictability because it allows them to maximize control over situations and people. This is why they tend to manipulate and seek out individuals who are easily controlled.
Emotional Suppression
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