Before I even attempt to talk about healing after narcissistic abuse, we need to understand the impact of going through such an experience. We need to understand how it affects our brain, body, and soul.
In my opinion and experience, going through narcissistic abuse is one of the most devastating experiences a person can endure because it casts a shadow on every aspect of life: physical, emotional, psychological, biochemical, and spiritual. I’ll explain each of these in just a moment.
Let’s begin by understanding the psychological and emotional impact of narcissistic abuse. To truly grasp this, we need to look at the human brain.
On a general and surface level, the human brain can be divided into three layers. The upper layer, which is the cortex and prefrontal cortex, is responsible for creativity, rational thinking, and logical decision-making. Then there’s the midbrain, which includes the limbic system. This area is responsible for bonding, reward perception, and other functions. Lastly, there’s the reptilian or lower brain, which controls temperature regulation, threat response, and activates survival mode.
Now that you have this basic understanding, we need to zoom in a little and look into the dynamics of a narcissistic relationship.
A narcissistic relationship is marked by continuous unpredictability. You never know what to expect from the narcissist at any given moment due to their shape-shifting nature. They constantly change their masks depending on the situation. Because of this unpredictability, you remain in a constant state of arousal—meaning, your nervous system is dysregulated almost all the time, and you’re stuck in survival mode.
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