Narcissists are exceptionally skilled at making others like them. Many of them are high-functioning individuals who present as normal, cordial, and even admirable to the outside world. This creates a profound disconnect for the victims, especially when trying to explain their suffering to others. Outsiders, whether friends, family, or acquaintances, may praise the narcissist as a wonderful person, leading others to question the victim’s sanity or accuse them of being ungrateful.
This dynamic is not exclusive to male narcissists. Many narcissistic women are equally adored by people outside the family, seen as accommodating, charming, and hospitable. They often play the role of the perfect hostess, which makes it nearly impossible for others to believe the abuse happening behind closed doors.
The question is: How do you get people to see the truth when you’re the one bearing the brunt of narcissistic torment? At first, it may feel impossible, isolating, and self-doubt may creep in. You might even start questioning whether you are the problem, losing your mind in the process. The trauma inflicted by the narcissist’s “street angel, home devil” persona is intense, leaving victims anxious, depressed, and struggling to function in daily life.
The harsh reality is that, for a time, you cannot convince others of what is happening. Trying to get people to see the narcissist for who they truly are will often backfire, making you look worse in their eyes. This is particularly challenging when children are involved. Trying to get your kids to understand the narcissistic parent’s true nature can lead to more pain and frustration.
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