Narcissists are all around us. They’re in our families, in the workplace, and even as friends. Narcissists can be difficult to spot because they do a lot of their damage on the inside but there are clues that you can pick up if you know what to look for. Rebecca Zung, top lawyer and narcissist negotiation expert, shares two things narcissists want from people and how they will tell on themselves when they don’t get it!
So, what mind games do they play with your emotions? Narcissists and empaths tend to find each other, right? They see you. They know you’re a kind, good person who feels like you can help them, like you can love them back to health. You see they’re hurting, and you think you might be able to fill that black hole inside them—but you can’t. Run the other way. It’s not going to help, okay? Stop thinking you can.
Do you know what gaslighting is? It’s when they make you question your reality and your sanity—your own mind, your own senses, the things you see and hear. Here’s what I mean: They might say, “I didn’t know you were going away this weekend; you never told me that.” But you know you discussed it. “Oh, yeah, we talked about it, and you agreed.” You don’t remember that conversation at all, yet they make you believe you did. That’s gaslighting.
For those who may not know, gaslighting comes from the 1930s film Gaslight, where a husband tries to make his wife think she’s going crazy by dimming the gaslights and denying it. He’d blow out the lights, and she’d say, “Wasn’t that just lit?” He’d respond, “No, it wasn’t.” It was a way to make her doubt her reality, and that’s what gaslighting is all about.
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