A narcissist is someone who will go to great lengths to mold you into their ideal version or manipulate you into becoming what they want. They are possessive, and entanglement with them can feel like a trap—one that’s hard to escape, especially without a clear understanding of narcissistic behavior.
Narcissists are aware of how annoying their behaviors can be. They thrive on projecting a false image of themselves and engaging in actions that make them stand out. One of their favorite tactics is creating unnecessary arguments, which serve as a means to manipulate you further.
Here are some things that go through the mind of a narcissist during an argument:
1. Getting You to Take Responsibility for Their Problems
Narcissists never take responsibility for their actions. They believe they are always right, making it impossible for them to admit faults or accept blame. Instead, they may feign remorse to shift blame onto others and elicit sympathy.
When arguing, a narcissist will provoke you into losing your temper. This tactic can make you appear as the aggressor, leading others to side with them. To maintain peace, you may feel compelled to concede to their demands, effectively taking the blame they want to avoid.
2. Sense of Entitlement
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Narcissists believe they deserve special treatment and will argue relentlessly to get what they want. Their goal is to overwhelm and destabilize you, so you eventually give in to their demands. These arguments are often calculated to leave you emotionally drained and more likely to submit to their wishes.
3. Using You as a Source of Narcissistic Supply
For narcissists, arguments are a means of securing narcissistic supply—validation, attention, and control. They will gaslight you, causing you to doubt your perception of reality. For example, they might make a request, deny ever doing so, and then argue when you react.
During these arguments, they often play the victim, framing you as the villain. This manipulative tactic aims to guilt you into complying with their desires, as you don’t want to be perceived as the bad guy.
4. They Cannot Live Without a Competitor
Narcissists thrive on competition and constant comparison. They measure their self-worth by comparing themselves to others and believing they are superior. Arguments provide them an opportunity to assert their dominance, brag about their accomplishments, or highlight perceived flaws in others.
By engaging in these arguments, they reinforce their inflated sense of value, using you as a benchmark to validate their superiority.
How to Handle Narcissists
Understanding the inner workings of a narcissist’s mind is crucial to protecting yourself from their manipulative tactics. Setting clear boundaries and standing firm against their games can help you fend them off and reclaim your sense of control.
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