There is a good reason why survivors of narcissistic abuse develop unusual self-defense mechanisms. After enduring the emotional rollercoaster of manipulation, gaslighting, and constant belittling, it’s no surprise that your mind and body create ways to cope and protect you. These mechanisms might seem odd, but they often serve as essential tools for navigating the aftermath of trauma. Today, we’ll explore some of these unique self-defense strategies, shedding light on why they occur and how they can help—or hinder—your healing journey.
1. Unintentional Mimicry
Have you ever found yourself unconsciously copying how someone talks or moves to feel like you belong? This is known as unintentional mimicry, and it often emerges after experiencing narcissistic abuse. When someone has hurt you by disregarding your true self, your brain might think, If I act like them, I’ll be safe. This behavior helps you blend in to avoid further emotional pain.
According to therapist Dr. Judith Orloff, while mimicry can shield you from judgment, it may also disconnect you from your authentic self. As psychologist Carl Rogers famously said, The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. So, while it’s natural to mimic others during tough times, it’s crucial to reconnect with your unique voice and personality.
2. Cryptic Messaging
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