Did you know that narcissistic abuse survivors often develop unusual communication patterns as a result of their experiences? Constant manipulation, criticism, and control leave them second-guessing their words and filtering everything they say to avoid conflict. This may lead them to hesitate, overthink, or even stay silent—behaviors that might seem odd to others but serve as self-protection.
In this article, we’ll explore these unique patterns, the reasons behind them, and how survivors can begin to restore more open, confident ways of communicating.
1. Apologizing Excessively
Narcissistic abuse survivors often feel like they’re always at fault, leading to communication patterns like over-apologizing for things that aren’t their responsibility. This behavior stems from the victim-blaming tactics of narcissists, which condition survivors to take the blame as a way to avoid conflict and maintain peace.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Raman Doas explains that this habit can become a survival tactic that ultimately harms self-worth. To combat this, pause before saying, “I’m sorry,” and ask yourself if you’re truly responsible. Remember, you don’t need to apologize to keep the peace.
2. Hyperventilating When Over-Explaining
Have you ever explained yourself and suddenly felt like you couldn’t catch your breath? Hyperventilating can be common for those who’ve survived narcissistic abuse. You might feel pressure to be clear, defend yourself, or ensure you’re understood—likely because you were ignored, belittled, or constantly doubted by the narcissist.
Survivors often over-explain, believing no one will believe them. Your body reacts as if every conversation is a life-or-death debate, putting your nervous system in overdrive. To manage this, practice taking slow, deep breaths. Remind yourself that you don’t need to justify every detail and trust that your words are enough without over-explaining.
3. Stumbling Over Words When Sharing Experiences
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