Today, we’re discussing what happens when you discard, leave, or abandon a narcissist. This is a situation I have decades of experience with, as I have discarded my malignant narcissistic ex and also gone no-contact with my narcissistic father and other family members. If you’re considering leaving and have concerns, this is for you.
Let’s dive in.
When you discard, leave, or abandon a narcissist, it is not at all like leaving a partner in a normal, loving relationship. Narcissists interpret abandonment very differently. First, let me clarify: narcissists typically do not see it coming. It doesn’t matter if you’ve warned them repeatedly or even told them explicitly that you’d leave if they didn’t change. In their mind, they cannot fathom a reality in which you would actually leave.
Based on my experience, it often takes a narcissist a very long time to fully comprehend that you are done for good. This is because they have likely gotten away with mistreating you for years, and their narcissism prevents them from accepting the reality that you’ve left. Even after you’ve physically left or filed for divorce, they might convince themselves you’ll return, perhaps because they’ve eroded your self-esteem, or they believe their financial power will keep you dependent on them. They may also think they can pressure, harass, or manipulate you into coming back.
The Narcissist’s Reaction to Abandonment
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