Narcissistic families do not operate the way functional, normal, loving families do. Families like mine operate under specific unspoken rules—rules that everyone in the family is clearly aware of. Today, I’m going to explain these rules and how they govern a narcissistic family.
Rule #1: Walking on Eggshells is the Norm
If you have a narcissistic parent or parents, you know what I’m talking about. You never know what kind of mood your narcissistic parent will be in from moment to moment. Therefore, you and everyone else in the house are required to walk on eggshells and pins and needles at all times because anything—absolutely anything—could set off the head narcissist at any moment.
Rule #2: Loyalty is Demanded, Never Earned
Narcissistic families operate as an “us against them” system. They expect everyone in the family to be unconditionally loyal to them, regardless of how they treat you or others. Loyalty is demanded, not earned.
Rule #3: Love is Conditional
Do not expect love in a narcissistic family to be unconditional. It’s 100% conditional on what you contribute to the family in terms of narcissistic supply. If you achieve something they can take credit for—like excelling at school, sports, or work—they will show you affection. However, if you fail to provide supply, you’ll be ignored, ridiculed, or abused.
Rule #4: Competition is Valued Over Cooperation
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