How Narcissism Distorts Your Self-Perception

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You know that voice—the one that hisses in your head long after the narcissist is gone. The one that says, You are worthless, or You will never be enough, or This is all your fault.

It doesn’t sound like you. It sounds like them—their tone, their cruelty, their warped logic. That voice is the narcissist’s carefully crafted and implanted weapon. And today, we’re going to talk about it.

Understanding the Narcissist’s Tactics

A narcissist’s voice becomes your inner critic through a three-step process:

  1. Infection
  2. Repetition
  3. Isolation

Infection: Rewriting Your Reality

Narcissists don’t just argue with your perceptions—they replace them. That’s what they do.

They gaslight you into doubting your own memory:

“Oh, you’re imagining things.”

They project their flaws onto you:

“You’re the selfish one.”

They assign you motives you never had.

Over time, your brain stops trusting itself—and that’s their ultimate goal.

For example, let’s say your narcissistic parent tells you:

You’re too sensitive. No one else would cry over something so stupid and small.

What does that do to you? You learn to distrust your emotions. You start thinking, Maybe I am overreacting. Eventually, your mother’s voice becomes your inner judge and critic.

Or take a narcissistic husband who says:

If you weren’t so needy, I wouldn’t have to lie to you.

What happens? You internalize it: Oh, my needs push people away. His blame becomes your inner truth.

Repetition: The Brainwashing Loop

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