Let’s start with a plain acknowledgment that I’m sure most of you would nod your heads and say, “Yeah, I’ve had that happen.” If you have an ongoing relationship with a narcissist, you’re also going to encounter their anger—just plain and simple. They just can’t stop themselves.
Let’s keep in mind that narcissism is a pattern on a spectrum, implying a high need for control and low levels of empathy. They have an attitude of entitlement, are very thin-skinned, and can be manipulative. They want to be the special one in the group.
We should also recognize that each of us can have some inclination toward that narcissistic bent. The healthy among us see it, acknowledge it, and try to keep it contained. Narcissists, however, can run with it until it becomes a way of life for them.
In the same vein, anger can be seen as a pattern on a spectrum. We all have moments where we want to stand up for ourselves in self-preservation of our worth, needs, and convictions. Healthy individuals can keep it on the low end of the spectrum. We stand up for what we need and can maintain appropriate boundaries. Narcissists, though, tend to let their anger run wild, leading to openly aggressive behaviors, rages, and deeply passive-aggressive reactions.
It’s interesting how the pattern of narcissism and the pattern of anger run parallel to each other on the spectrum. They tend to go hand in hand.
Today, I want to discuss some common comments that might provoke a narcissist’s anger. I have identified seven, but there are plenty more. I want you to be aware of when their anger arises in reaction to these comments, so you don’t get sucked into their unhealthy games.
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