Narcissists often fall in love with the most intelligent, honest, sensitive, and bright human beings. They go for the best not because they admire those qualities, but because they lack them. They don’t have a light of their own, so they look for someone who radiates it—someone who is the full package: beautiful, intuitive, emotionally generous, endlessly giving, and self-sacrificing in ways that reflect the highest form of humanity.
But before they trap you, they quietly test every part of you—not through direct questions, but through orchestrated moments that force you to reveal your emotional code. Loyalty is not something they ask for; it’s something they provoke. They will create situations that pressure you to prove your allegiance in ways that feel natural in the moment but are deeply violating in hindsight.
It begins with a carefully chosen story—a tale of past betrayal—where they position themselves as the misunderstood, the abandoned, the one who gave everything and was left with nothing. They speak with emotions so raw that it disarms you, drawing you into a silent agreement to never become like the people who hurt them. Without realizing it, you begin protecting them from your own truth.
Then they escalate. They’ll say something outrageous in a group setting, knowing it might make others uncomfortable, but what they’re really doing is watching you, observing whether you will defend their behavior, stay silent, or distance yourself. Every response becomes data; every hesitation a calculation. They subtly suggest that someone close to you is toxic, envious, or harmful, and advise you to cut ties—not because they care about your well-being, but because they want to see if you will isolate yourself on their command.
When you assert a boundary, they retreat. They don’t argue; they withdraw. Their silence becomes heavy, their absence punishing. It creates a discomfort inside you so intense that you begin to doubt your own right to protect your peace. When you apologize or backtrack just to end the tension, they see it as proof that your empathy is stronger than your self-respect. To them, loyalty is not about love; it is about control. It is about reshaping your identity so that their comfort, their image, and their needs come before everything else. Once they know you will betray yourself just to keep them close, the trap is already set.
In this article, I am going to talk about five bizarre loyalty tests narcissists use to trap you. Early on, they ask you to cut off someone they don’t like. It never sounds like a demand; it doesn’t come wrapped in control. It comes wrapped in concern. They’ll look at you with a softness that feels like love and say something like, “I don’t know; I just get a strange feeling from that person,” or “I feel like they’re not really happy for you,” or “I’m saying this because I care, but they seem like a bad influence.” It sinks in slowly. You don’t feel pushed; you feel protected. You feel chosen. You feel like someone finally sees what you were maybe too generous to see on your own.
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