If you still believe that narcissists engage in public acts of generosity, you’re being misled. What might seem like kindness is often just another performance to boost their image and feed their ego. So don’t be fooled by their external facade and acts.
Today, let’s break down the nine reasons why narcissists only act generous when an audience is watching. Are you ready for number one? They’re testing their fan base. Some people may seem generous when there’s an audience, but for narcissists, it’s more about the spotlight and the validation that comes with it. They take this a step further; they’re not just seeking attention, they’re conducting a constant evaluation of their fan base.
Psychologist Dr. Carol McBride explains that narcissists thrive on external validation and use public displays of generosity as a tool to gauge who’s still in their corner. The act of giving is less about kindness and more about collecting praise or loyalty. It’s as if they’re constantly testing the waters, sending out feelers to see who’s still impressed by their facade and willing to shower them with adoration. In the narcissist’s world, validation is currency, and every moment is a chance to increase their value. These public gestures of kindness are less about altruism and more about checking their ratings. They need to see who is still loyal, still willing to offer applause, and still ready to give them the emotional supply they crave.
If you cheer them on, you’re deemed worthy of being kept around. But if you don’t play the part, don’t expect them to stick around for long. Once they’ve exhausted your usefulness or stopped receiving the attention they seek, they’ll discard you without hesitation, moving on to the next person who can feed their ego.
Let’s talk about number two: it gives them power over people. Have you ever received a gift that felt more like a contract than a kind gesture? That’s the narcissist’s favorite move. Public generosity isn’t about helping; it’s about building a scoreboard where they always come out on top. As Ross Rosenberg, psychotherapist and author of The Human Magnet Syndrome, puts it, “Narcissists use charm and generosity as a weapon of control.” So when they do something nice in front of others, it’s not just for show; it’s a setup. Later, they’ll cash in on that favor with guilt trips or expectations, using their famous manipulative line: “After all, I’ve done this for you.
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